video games are the ultimate cock blocker
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
