Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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