I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
