Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
