i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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