My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
