saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
