Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
