I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize