Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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