you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
