i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dick has a subreddit
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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