I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
