she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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