would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
