i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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