Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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