Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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