if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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