so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
