hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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