Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
