Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
