Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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