The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
