I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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