there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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