Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
