you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I understand Curling. That high.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
