Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
