Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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