apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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