The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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