I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
