Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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