oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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