rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
