He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will pee on everything he values.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
