That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize