he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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