Small penises have feelings too.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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