I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Never joke about your clitoris.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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