Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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