Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have fence marks all over my body
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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