I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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