fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
