Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
