She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
