She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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