I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We are all done wearing pants today
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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