Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
