I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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