Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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