Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
