My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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