Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
