and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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