Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize