Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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