the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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