I think my vagina is haunted
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
