I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just found a bag of teeth...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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