why didn't you poke me back
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
At least make sure they are 18
Why
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize