i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
